Not long ago, the deli in my grocery store put mayonnaise on the sandwich that I asked for with no mayonnaise.

Admittedly, the instructions I gave were vague.  I said, “Please, whatever you do, don’t give me mayonnaise.”

The next week they left the turkey off a turkey sandwich.  That’s an item most turkey sandwiches include.

Yesterday, they topped even themselves.

They failed to make the sandwich entirely.

That’s a weird thing about a sandwich order.  You need to remember the sandwich.

I now see that with each mistake, I’m going to get less and less.

Which means the next thing they will do is come to my house and remove the food from my refrigerator.

The reason this keeps happening is that they keep getting new employees and I don’t know them.  So I don’t know which ones will screw up my sandwich.  Worse, I can’t remember who screwed up the last time.

Thus, I’ve decided to steal an idea from the Boy Scouts.

They award merit badges to people who accomplish things.

I will do the opposite.  I will award badges to people who fail to accomplish things.

It is called the Badge of Stoopid.

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