Calvinists Sometimes Make the Worst Calvinists

by C Michael Patton

Labels are a postmodern taboo. This is understandable. Once you are labeled something, you live under the presumptions of the system that has been typified by others. This representation may or may not be accurate. Unfortunately, the inaccuracies inevitably rule the label.

Republican: War lover. Does not care about the environment. Apathetic to social issues.

Democrat: Liberal. Godless. Weak. Immoral. Baby-killers.

Roman Catholic: Worships Mary. Drones. Ignorant.

Evangelical: Fundamentalist. Gay hater. Supports the killing of abortion doctors. Republican (see above).

Baptist: Can’t drink, dance, or smoke. Prideful.

Dispensationalist: Believes in two ways of salvation, one for the Old Testament and one for the new. Cares only about eschatology.

DTS Grads: Dispensationalist (see above). :)

OU Sooners: The best ever. Supernatural. Incredible. (Oh, wait . . . this is all true)

Emerging Christianity: Cursing. Compromise doctrine. Nose rings. Disrespectful.

Arminian: Humanistic. Denies God’s sovereignty. Pelagian.

Calvinist: Follower of a man. Believes God hates the non-elect. Denies free will. Denies responsibility. Believes God created evil.

Unfortunately, there are reasons why people have these stereotypical assumptions about systems, and these reasons are often valid. Not because the system itself demands it (although this is sometimes the case), but because of two things…


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