Satan’s Travel Guide: Staying Out of Travel Hell
by L.d. Ablo
You know, my servants, that I generally lie, cheat, and steal and exhort my followers to do the same. Rarely will you find my work more clearly on display than when you are traveling. It seems particularly that my stealers tend to find travelers easy prey.
Having just roamed to and fro internationally about the earth myself over the last two weeks, I observed first-hand how vacations and holidays can be ruined by my servants on earth. A stolen passport, a picked pocket, a swiped camera, a snatched purse — these are all the work of my hands. I’m quite proud that I’ve made Travel Hell for many people.
But it occurred to me this trip that very often it is my servants who are the targets of my handiwork. That is, just like God’s goodness, my badness falls on the just and the unjust alike. As I pondered this strange, unintended consequence, I realized that maybe I should clue you, my friends and good servants, into some easy Travel Tips to minimize the chance that you become the victim of my success on earth.
Therefore, I offer, in no particular order, 10 of my best Travel Tips below. Now remember, this is kingdom knowledge not to be shared with Christians: I want to make the lives of Christians miserable.
“10 Tips to Hell-Free Travel,” is pure kingdom knowledge just for non-Christians and all who please me (which, happily, includes some Christians). Treat this confidentially…
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