My Blind Faith Failed Me

by Tim Arndt

As a teenager, I told several friends and mentors that I was struggling with doubts about God.

You know what most people told me?

“You need to have more faith.”

They were well-meaning, but that answer is about as helpful as asking for help with a math equation and being told: “you need to know the answer.”

Thank God eventually I had at least one mentor give me a good answer, but all the rest inadvertently helped me further down a road of doubt.

The type of faith they were telling me to have was blind faith. None of them called it “blind faith” of course, but that is in effect what they were promoting.

At the time the best way I could describe faith was a feeling of being connected to God. Part of me felt like the doubts were my fault. I thought my doubts were sins clouding that pure feeling of closeness to God that I once felt. The other part of me felt it was God’s fault. In frustration, I would ask Him why He wouldn’t restore the feeling of closeness again. I knew it would be easy for Him, but I didn’t know why He didn’t.

I thought perhaps God was testing me. Perhaps I just needed to wait out this feeling of doubt and God would return to me the elation of a new believer. But a part of me doubted that would happen too.

I read my Bible, I prayed, I fasted, and the doubts kept coming. I was spiraling deeper into doubts and I was afraid where that would leave me.

Finally, I spoke with a pastor who had a different answer for me. He had 5 minutes until a meeting so he kept things short and to the point. I told him I was doubting my faith. He asked me what specifically I was doubting and I said…


My Blind Faith Failed Me | ApoloThink